you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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