i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
