i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He passed out mid-signature
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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