When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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