addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
