I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
