So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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