ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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