you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
