i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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