Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
