so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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