That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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