Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
