hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
