I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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