You really coming over, don't trick.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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