no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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