I heard we made out
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
