it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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