Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize