I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
