We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
