I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize