I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
