If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
