I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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