More tranny stories later!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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