when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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