why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
