Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
