I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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