You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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