Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
