I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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