Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
