I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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