I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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