we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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