i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
