Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
