i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
