it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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