life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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