Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
