chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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