I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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