take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
