Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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