Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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