The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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