She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
