I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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