On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Too much gin, very little bucket
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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