fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
