Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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