He uses pillows to masturbate.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
