I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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