shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
