OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
