i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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