Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
