plz talk dirty to me
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You've changed since you got that strap on
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
