Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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