I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
