just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize