I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
