I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
