I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
vagina is talking i cant
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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