Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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