do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
