So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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