ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
