my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
