Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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