He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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