K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i want to swaddle you in tequila
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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