he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
