she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize