could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
