The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
